This Is what happens When I think of you..Erik

I wanna DANCE.

Where am I going? what am I doing?

Im applying to Japan. Im getting more and more excited. My life is revolving around whether or not I get accepted.
It would be amazing if Jenna and I both go, it would be more amazing if we went to the same city.
It would all change. im excited for a whole new change, especially by myself.

Here's what might happen:

My lease ends April 30th. I find out if I go to Japan by May or June.....maybe ill move to Chicago for a bit to be with Jenna, maybe if i dont get accepted ill stay in New York, get a place of my own. Im ready for no more roommates. Maybe Ill travel the USA and figure where I want to live next, maybe ill go japan for a year!

Its all a MaYbE.

PS: Thanks for an amazing time boyz (boo and boo too)
you rock my world.

xo.

Ready or not Here I come....oops

I Want a SEXY Man.

thats me.

Ode To Ilenia

today my boss who i am infatuated with said to me

"You look like a Miami Grandma"

i dont know. its the outfit....i guess....

now that i think of it. i mite dress like one, but who knows, ive never been to miami

Lets Melt For Eachother.

Im So Excited I just cant Hide it

Things have been weird but im still excited.

this weekend is going to kick some major asshole.

who is coming into town....

*Blake

*Jennifer

*Tommy

*Judy Booty

I cant remember who else but its a great mix of savannah and lawrence kids.

fuck yeh.

Ilenia's Boyfriendzzzz

Have A Tomato Potato Day!

JENNAS BOYFRIENDS

daaaaarrrrr

WOW I posted two days in a Row

I really like this video and this song.

it makes me want to dance and drink.
with my girls...
Potato and Tomato

New, Old, and More to Cum

Sunday after work I was walking around the upper east side and saw this awesome dresser someone was throwing out. I got SO excited b/c ive been living out of my luggage for 2 months now..ive left my luggage (which consists of 5) around my room and living room. so i was in desperate need. So this is what i did. I flagged a SUV taxi and thought oh man maybe it will fit. i hopped in the taxi and looked around i said to the driver i dont think a dresser can fit in here and made him stop, i hopped out as this family of 4 was flagging my taxi down. as i got out this pretty attractive guy said "hi" and i was in such a rush to get to the dresser i didnt really pay attention i was like "hi" real quick back. then the mystery man was like "the subway stop is over there" and i was like "oh im not lookin for that, im trying to flag down a Mini Van Taxi." so the guy decided he would help me and he got one for me and was like"have a great day, peace" as i was shutting the van door the guy just kept smiling at me and said, "by the way, you're beautiful." 

which was soo funny to me, b/c i looked crazy and hungover in a gross outfit.....whatever...

so i picked up the dresser, at first the driver just watched me try to drag the dresser, keyword..TRY, finally he helped me and i had him drive me all the way to Brooklyn, which all taxi drivers HATE. noone will drive you there, i always make someone though when im wastey.. 

then as i get to my apt. tonia comes to help, We live on the 5th floor..no elevator. sometimes that really SUCKS. but luckily the Super was there and his brother (who has the biggesst crush on me and cant speak a word of english) 

Side note: The super brother likes me so much that he comes over just to sit and stare at me in my living room, also one time he brought me sushi (he made b/c he works at a sushi restaurant) and one time melissa tried to translate what he was trying to say to me on the computer, (spanish to english) one of his sentences said "i love you, lets be financee"

What The Fuck. why do all the weirdo like me.

Ok so i got a free dresser! Then tonia and I sit outside on our stoop and all these little kids run up to us with a kitten. this kitten is super duper teeny weeny. they are throwing it around like its a toy. im a huge animal lover and i got freaked out so I asked to hold it. it was the size of my hand, but maybe smaller and black. it was attacked (the children say) by the father. one eye was closed and its tail was like chewed off. the super asked if i wanted it....i hesitated. Tonia, who wants a cat real bad, said no.... 

I took it. I had this feeling i had to.

i know that if i left it with the kids , it would have died....

im not sure if it will survive. tonia really likes it now. shes keeping it. shes taking it to the vet tomarrow. 

please let it live.

To a happier note:

Saturday nite I got escorted to my 5th floor apt. by a big black tall cop....Ooopsy.

i was so wastey he found me sitting on the floor in front of my apt. i dont really know exactly what happened. but Tonia said i buzzed in and when she opened the door i was all smiley and drunk and said, "Mr. Cop wanted to see if i got home ok!"

Mr. Cop said to Tonia, " I just wanted to make sure she got in ok, I think your friend had a little too much to drink.." oossppsy again.

I went dancing that night with a bunch of my girlfriends. it was tons of fun.

Last thursday night was so super fun.

I went to the free Crystal Castles show at Studio B in brooklyn. it was full of randomness and heavy drinking.

let me explain: so the show was free....no one really wanted to go with me becuase noone cool enough has heard of them....whatev....BUT george knew about them so we planned on going together. after work George and I meet at Union Square and rush over there. we walk and chug his gin and tonic in a flask and arrive to this humongo line that goes around and the side of the buidling. no fucking way we're going to get in. we stand in line forever making friends and then this is how life is funny.

i look over to the street for a second and see a taxi pull up and a guy get out. i recognize him. i yell heyyy (because I dont remember his name) he recognizes me too. it was this kid from Savannah...Chris. real cutie...fo sure. were acquainted thru people, parties, drinking, etc. Rarrr..

if he didnt see me, he would have NEVER got in. so he stands in line with us. then moments later more randomness.... We run into Ariel, Jonathan, and Will, all from Savannah, kids i havent seen in a while. Ariel is prbly the same or more crazy like me when it comes to boys and drinking...so we're getting closer and closer. and all of a sudden the BIG bouncer yells out "the line stops here, we're closing the DOORS!!" and guess what ....how funny it stops right in front of me. Ariel being crazy like i said, rushed into the crowd and is getting let in, i dont know what to do and then do the same. the girls behind us start yelling. "no fair, waht the fuck, they cut" the bouncer didnt see and yells at them "the Line stops here!" again.... Oopppsy.

Ariel and I get in. 

George, Jonathan, Chris, and Will...dont.

we ditched them. we got in and it was insane. crazy lights, crazy dancing. the drinks are 9.00!!! what the fuck. we drinnk.....no ice....pure alcohol. 

we dance. ariel ditches me for some random plaid boy. i drink.

i look over at one point and see...The boys!!

i get so happy. Crystal Castles comes on. im right in front with all the boys. everyone is smashing me. im like in a mosh pit. one of my shoes falls off. im like fuck it. theres no way in hell im going down to get them, unless i want to get smashed. then another shoe falls off.

fuck. im barefoot.

fuck.

im too into it until people start smashing me. i couldnt breathe. i get out.

i drink more...then i go to the restroom...barefoot.

i throw up.

i drink more.

i dance with random people.

barefoot.

the show ends. and im like lets keep drinking. this is where things are foggy. i take the boys to 2 bars....one where it reminds me of this one in savannah called Pinkies. the bartender is this 70 year old woman...named Rosemary. the second bar i take them to: you buy a beer you get a free whole pizza. we eat a lot. i guess i then decide to make out with Chris.

I take all the boys home....guess who sleeps in my bed....Oooopssy.

wait..only one... i meant. (geeez im not tthat slutty.)

eveyrone else passes out on the floor.

what a night.

Jenna comes in officially 8 days!!!!!! im so excited. we're going to kick some new york ass.

Jennifer and Blake come in like 20 days!!! or something.

im still doing my internship.

im still at my job, selling designer clothes.

still have a crush on my boss, still buy lots of yummy clothes.

im barely surviving with money.

im applying to jobs in Indonesia and Japan.

Im looking at schools.

ill explain more later.

love you all.

miss you all.

so much.

you guys are my home..

kisses and poo

I dont know..

what a man said to melissa to hit on Her.

"Damn gurl, is someone eating on your poo poo"?

Cheese Pussy Puffs

   

Holy Cow. My Vaginas on Fire. Water is coming out my butthole. I have fisheyes and I need a drink, my head is boiling. 

(Those were the words of Ms. Melissa Cromwell) 

Today Kim Cattrall from Sex in the City came to my work today.

Samantha the slutty one.

it was the weirdest/coolest thing. shes one of my favs. plus i just saw the movie last night....

i felt like i was tripping when she came walking up the stairs...she came in took off her sunglasses and was like "hi howare you" i was like (in my head) oh my gosh... i felt like i was watching the movie or the tv show. it was a weird sort of surreal moment.

Now I really know I am living the New York Life....haha.

she wanted to consign her clothes. 

i fucking loved the movie. shut up. im cheesy. but i loved it. so SUCK IT!

i laughed and cried and pooped. 

so edmond and tonia moved in. its one full house minus Danny Tanner oh and DJ Tanner. 

"Woooowwww" jenna's mom says to Pee Wee Herman.

life is busy. full of lots of hotness...ooo baby.

im going to the beach tomarrow.

i might get this coolio internship.

For those who care..Bob and I broke up so im on the market again!!! haha

Neesa's back in the game...oops

I want money.

I cant wait until July. Jenna is coming and Jennifer and Blake. All my favorite people in the world except im missing Ilenia and Sally...!!!

I need a real person job

I want to TraVEL.

I want to move to a beautiful island.

I want a hottie boyfriend.

I want PASSION

I NEED PASSION

I want cheese.

i love you all. ill try to update more often...

kisses and fans..

smokey the bear

i havent Blogged for a long time. sorry guys..not that you really care, i think b/c

1) I have a life now
2) I talk to jenna like all the time, sorry ilenia, but i do read all your posts
3) I am lazy and an alcoholic

Life is busy busy busy. so much is going on! I dont know where to start. still working at the same jobs, but i work so much i think its starting to get to me, like constantly "serving and helping" people, whoa that sounds wrong like i like helping people but not when someone is like "can i some ketchup, can i get my check, thats not what i ordered?"
or at my other job when the women are "can i see how much that Chanel purse is, can i get this dress for cheaper, blah blah"

but im making money so yeh. also i am spending alot too, i think everytime i work at the clothing store job i buy something, my wardrobe is turning designer, its cool though, either i am buying or snatching things from the sales floor and sticking them in the back room to put on hold to buy when cheaper!! haha im such a cheater!

I also have made so many friends, so now i am always hanging out with people and hence spending money, like lets go out to eat or lets go get a drink...ooopsy..

I have this new bff here in new york, her name is Ericka, shes real sweet (as in sweet, cool?) i dont make sense, anways, we work together and she reminds me a lot of my best friend Melissa from Savannah, shes real kooky and down to earth, i think thats why i like her. shes not like one of those "im from new york and im a badass" kinds of girls..

I think im obesssed with clothes now...more than ever.

but having two jobs means having double the friends, i love everyone i work with. my boss from the clothing store is super cute, i have a crush on him, his name is Peter...he's this pretentious assholey, dry humored, sarcastic, 43 yr old, snobby, wears the same thing everyday (jeans and a orange shirt) Libra (Ilenia remember i told u i always fall for libras?) i think new york is the best place on earth kind of guy. Thats what peter is like. but i totally have the hots for him...

I go out all the time now, drink all the time, and cause the same old neesa kinda of trouble...i am blacking out more than ever, and no i am not proud of this, but i dont know what to do, oh yeh i know..

not drink as much or as heavily...oopsy again.

i just told jenna this story today on the phone but i will share with you all.

I went to Brooklyn last friday with my partner in crime Sarah to a dance party i was invited to by another friend, well sarah and i dance and drink and drink and run around in the rain and hop to other bars, we then decide we have to go back to Manhattan....and the trains come SOOO slow really late hours so we are underground at the subway station waiting drunkly (and this is what i actually found out a couple of days of ago from sarah) but we went on the wrong side, we were trying to uptown and we were on the downtown side so we were to drunk and lazy to go all the way up and around so we jumped into the train track (which is so retarded b/c i think you can get electrocuted by some of them )and we ran across the tracks, at the time it was really funny and exhilarting...what can i say but im a dumb ass....

so then about 2 days ago i was leaving my apt and looking for my reddish/pinkish cute little purse and couldnt find it anywhere and i remembered the last time i had it was that night i went to brooklyn i thought that was funny b/c i had all my important stuff, drivers license, camera and phone...but no purse...i asked my roomie if she borrowed it...she said no...so im totally confused and once again (dont worry this goes with my story from above) I found out from sarah that during our little drunk and lost in the subways night out in brooklyn, my purse strap broke and I got mad and upset and she said i took everything out of it stuffed it in my pockets and threw my purse onto the moving subway train passing by......hhmmm....and in my brain i had no clue what happened to the purse...i thoought i misplaced it....

hence the blackouts..

today is 420, ericka is going to come over and we are going to smoke and i am going to pass out.

BOB is coming in 4 days!!! im so excited. it doesnt feel real. i cant believe he is going to get to see my new york life and everyone im friends with. im nervous and happy and i dont know how its going to be, it would have been almost 2 months since i saw him last in Feb. oh well at least im going to get to Pork someone to death...finally.

oh yes I also got an apartment in Brooklyn. because right now i am subletting and randomnly this awesome apartment deal came about. I will be living in this cute 3 bedroom apt. in Bushwick, and i will be pretty close to Williamsburg and we can paint our rooms and the living room is big and we only each pay 533.00 a month wich is SOOO cheap for here. so thats exciting.
I feel so adult more than ever, i went searching for an apt. and put down the money and blah blah and have been talking to the Broker like everyday.

Also its spring here in the city and everything has bloomed, Central Park is beautiful and the city fucknig rocks. everyone seems happier and i love it soooo much. i still cant believe i live in new york now.

I AM becoming A New Yorker.

oh yes and i also got this awesome internship, finally, a good one. you should check it out,
its called Sunshine and Shadows and i work for the designer Lily. shes super cool and her clothing line is pretty well-known she has her designs everywhere from Newyork to La to Japan. and she has been featured in Lucky,Nylon, In style, etc.
I went to it on Thursday and shes real chill and flexible. its in Brooklyn and close to my new apt.
My first day all i did was hang out on a roof with these really hip and funny girls tearing strips of real rabbit fur for her knit hats. we're also going to be doing alot of dying of fabrics, its real textilly but im excited b/c its more my style than me working for Ann Taylor running around doing bitch work like getting coffee and shit. so i will be doing that the whole summer!!!!

everything is going well for me...so far so good

PS: I bought my plane ticket for Kansas. I will be back May 14-19th! get ready to party hardy again bitches!!!

Party in my pants

Im so hungover, tired.
ive partied like everyday this week.

to be continued.....

FUGLY PICTURES Part 2

yeh im not sure why i put some of the pictures up ..some of them arent fugly...like Rens, and im not saying shes a fugly person it was just a up close pictures...whatev..

and i do think that Jenna wins...for sure..

Im Coo Coo For Coca Puffs

ok bitches. i know you are back (Jenna and Sally) I want to hear about your trips!! call me when you can. both of you! i missed you. not that i get to see you anyways...

so I FINALLY got my camera charger so very soon i will be putting my pics of my kansas trip up...which also means...more FUGLY pictures!!! how exciting..

also i wanted to let you all know how happy i am and how i LOVE New York. and i love Spring.
and that

BOB is fo sure coming to visit me here in new york, he FInally bought his plane ticket. i am super happy. hes coming April 24th!!

also for all who know who Manal is, a Lawrencian... a crazy one at that...she staying with me starting tomarrow for 9 days...time to party..once again..

ok i got to go...a friend just buzzed in..xoxo

With Your Fingers in my Eyes

Long time no write...whoops.

I've never worked so much in my life...well maybe i have. its just so tiring working 7 days a week, but i guess not really. i go back and forth between 2 jobs. mon, tues, wed, and saturdays at the Consignment Shop 10-6:30 and thurs, fri, and sunday 10-4:30 at the restuarant. Im trying to rake in the money...TRYING...except those 2 weeks prior i have been spending money and drinking a lot.

After Cory left, Tonia came to visit to NYC.
This is Tonia for all who dont know

That is Tonia on the left...Tonia is an odd one.. I like her... She is very smart... she is going to be my new roomie in new york. (that is Shannon the right, she moved to Las Vegas, she is quite a character)

So tonia coming was awesome. its going to be fun living with her. She came on sunday night, she arrived pretty late and she also arrived to a party at my apartment and me fucked up...whoopsy..her dad dropped her off at my apt, and he was prbly like, "what the fuck? where am I dropping my daughter off?" and he was lost at that, so i had to talk to Tonia when i was drunky and high and give her directions and ontop of that i live in Harlem and it prbly looks pretty ghetto and scary to those who have no experienced a place like that....i dont really know what that means....but yeh... I worked that day (sunday) and after work I went to Brooklyn by myself to see my roomie Hallie sing with my friend Dana, I arrived to the bar and i had ONE beer, which led to me having 3 more drinks....WHOOPS...and then having a afterparty at my apt...

ST. Patricks Day.... I worked...BUTT then when i came home Tonia, Hallie, Hallie's mommy, and I made a huge dinner, smoked and drank, it was yummy. then hallie, tonia, and I went out to a bar on Times Square...it was crowded...we danced I got drunky...then we met up with more friends and went to nathans house and smoked..but before we had taken the subway which my dumbass decided to get into a argument with a homeless bum. i was drunk, he prbly was too, and he came on the subway shouting and being angry calling everyone all these racist things and fighting with this white dude who was trying to defend himself and doing a bad job at it...so i guess i couldnt stand it anymore and chimed in saying stuff like "you dont know what your talking about" and "how do you know what race he is anyways" blah blah, i dont really know...but this bum starting cursing at me and getting in my face calling me all these hurtful shitty racist crap and i took it but then i got in his face and i dont really remember what i said, but i guess i stumped him, he then was like "your kinda of cute and very fiesty, i like that in a woman" he kept saying that over and over...we left the subway and hallie told a cop about this man....i guess so he wouldnt follow us...we went to nathans and smoked...we all stayed up till about 5:30am....

happy st. patricks day....

what did YOU do? let me guess for some....this is what i would have done if i didnt work...

get up, watch the parade, start drinking in the day time and get drunk then pass out, wake up again and start drinking...DANCE.

Tuesday, Tonia and I recovered, my first day off and prbly only, b/c of a scheduling fuck up on both jobs....tonia and I met up with one of my many Savannah friends Megan...

This is Megan. she is real cool. she has been my friend for about 4 years now. we went to london together, she has seen me at my most wasted, she has saved me, she has helped me.
i love her.

We had lunch and Megan and I blabbed about Fashion and the new senior class, (we are both fashion majors)

Tonia and i recovered some more... and watched a really good movie with friend and hallies mommy and smoked...Everyone should watch this movie...its REALLY good and sad...and good.
Watch is Ilenia...
its called, "Trade"
its about sex trafficking with kids

Wednesday I dont remember...I worked....it rained...Tonia came to my Consignment Shop and looked at clothes. we then walked in the rain, ate Indian Food. came home and drank and smoked.

Thursday Tonia left. I ran errands. I went to work. work was slow, but i got a free amazing scarf from the lost and found, free bakery goods like strawberry shortcakes and easter cookies. I hung out with Hallie at the apt.

My life is actually pretty busy and productive. I am still interviewing with Internships, i dont know how i would fit it in with my busy schedule. i am thinking i have to make a decision where I have to either wait on the internship or drop a job. but i really like both of my jobs. I am learning so much at the clothing shop and i have such great friends at the restaurant. I dont know.

sometimes life is about making sacrifices...

I dont know what i am doing with mine.

Bob and I are doing quite well. I gave him a ultimatum.

Come to New York or I will never speak to you ever again...

he says he's coming.. blake and i have a bet...Blake bets me 10 dollars he will.. I dont think so...

i just want bob to come visit...goddammit.

Also there are two more friends from SAvannah in town now..
Dru and Ursula. it will never end.

I think i am going to go out tomarrow night. This guy i met at the airport in Jan. that i talked to for 40 min found me on facebook and we have been messaging, he lives in new york, not the city. he is my age, he is going to be in the city tonight and gave me his phone number to meet up with him...i did not call him..whoops

I also keep buying clothes from my store. see this is why i shouldnt work at a clothing store. I bought the best jeans ever all designer clothes!! i also bought my first real good designer piece of clothing...Georgio Armani...yum. dont worry i got it for real cheap! i get to see when everything goes on sale sale and snatch it before anyone else does... it was 13 dollars! orginally it was 85.00. fuck yeh for me...i know no one cares... oh well.

Spring IS HERE.

its time for Spring Flings....or maybe just Rain.

Im Done With Tomarrow

BARF

So I remember when I was in Lawrence, Jenna and Ilenia we went to the Black Lips Show at the Bottleneck, well Bob was prbly the most wasted Ive ever seen him, maybe not though, maybe i just have always been as wasted as him and never notice, but this time he was and i wasnt....yet...well Bob grabs me and takes me to Aliecia to take a picture, Aliecia who does Lawrence.com party pics...Bob was so cute and super nice to me...it was a really good nite for us...i really felt loved and wanted....BARF..i know.... but yeh i thought i would share this picture, Aliecia sent this to me b/c i asked her to. I think it really cute..

I had a interesting week.. i forgot where i left off but I smoked alot last week and got a manicure, which i love doing. when it starts getting warm im then going to get a pedicure.

Ok so last Saturday night was my night...not exactly a good one like ya'll had.

I got off work, which i am starting to like, the girls are cool and im already learning a lot...about Designers and I bought a super cute dress. Im kinda of feeling materialistic, its weird, being here in NYC. Like I want a bunch of designer dresses that we sell, im starting to appreciate more expensive clothes, like Armani cashmere, and Silk Pucci, etc.

Well after work, my friend Sarah comes over and we hadnt seen eachother since right before I came to Kansas, so we drank a bottle of wine that I got for free from work. (because if you sell 10 or more alcoholic drinks, you get a free bottle) so we caught up and chatted and headed into East Village to see her friends band play at this bar. The east Village is so hot and hip. Its a cool, sophisticated hip, i dont know, its like Brooklyn but in Manhattan.
I love it, you have to have the money to live there. so we actually miss the show but stayed there drinking A LOT. I dont know what happened but i ended geting shitfacccceed and i didnt remember until the next day that sarah and i ran to another bar that night and saw a Burlesque Show that i got kicked out of first because I tried sneaking in, whoops. but i begged and begged the bouncer to let me in becasue Sarah was already in there, he eventually lets me in. All I remember was being shitfaced and watchin these curvacious almost naked women dancing. I also remember thinking "I can do that" well sarah and i leave pretty early and take a cab home, which i have been taking more often than i should.

Then I really dont know what happens next, my roomie Hallie has to tell me exactly.
She said that I texted Bob, "ITs Done" then she came home to me sobbing, i dont know why, she said i really wanted to talk to Blake...ugh..i dont know why..she said i then call Bob and hang up b/c it sounded like he was at a party, he calls me back, hallies talks to him for a bit, and finally me being shitfaccccceed Neesa, tells him its over and to never call me again...OOPS....

Im so dramatic. what the fuck?? I need to be away from my phone when im drunky.

Man, I loved GameBoys...(remember?)

Well i passed out at like 4:30am and had to wake up for work at 8:30..SHIT. i was so drunk at work, it was funny and sad at the same time, i thought for sure i fucked everything up with Bob...i was way to embarrassed to call him. I think I was pissed b/c i wasnt there and it just SUCKS the whole situation, why is the first time i find someone in a long time, this long distance shit has to happen. ... i guess ill just have to see what happens...right?

Well the next day, bob actually calls me, i was so meek and weird on the phone, we talked about it and things are better, he said he knew i was drunk and it was ok...WOW, i cant believe he puts up with me.

have u ever seen that movie, "The Good Son" ? Its on TV, it has a teeny weeny little kid Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin, how cute.

Jenna used to be obsessed with Elijah Wood when we were little...HAha. he was her dream man.


Gross, what the fuck is he doing?

So ive had a busy week. My friend from Savannah Corey Crocker came into new york, we know eachother b/c he used to date my old roomie Jamie when i first moved to Savannah, hes a weirdo. he came here to research for the screenplay he's writing...i hadnt seen him in 1 yr or more...so he came Sunday night and took me out to dinner... then monday my roomie Hallie left for the week to Florida, so i had Corey to entertain me. When i came home from work we went to the East side to visit our friend Christine, who was working, he knows her b/c his twin brother has been dating her for 3 years...wowzeer!

I cant imagine myself dating someone for that long?? Isnt that pathetic?

Im hungry again, i want to go stuff my face.

We meet Christine and she is working and tells us to go to this bar and shell meet us, Corey and I go and drink. I only had 3 beers, that were SO good, they were from Kenya Africa, it was called Tusker..or something...and i was already getting drunky b/c i didnt really eat at all that day. We blab about shit and christine comes, i had fun.

Tuesday, i worked and came home so tired, Corey was leaving early wednesday morning, and he wanted to use up his subway pass so i roll a joint and it sucked and Corey watched me smoke the whole thing, DAMN i was high. then i remember i was getting really annoyed at every little thing Corey was doing, I think I start to get all antsy and weird when im with someone that much...i dont know. we ate at some diner and then went to the Apple Store, b/c Corey really wanted to , i was high and wandering looking at all the expensive cool shit i will never be able to have, but i dont really give a shit but i actaully really really want to have a I-Phone, i think there Awesome. i want!

Man, i think new york is making me materialistic, what if I become a Manhanttan Bitch.
A Rich Bitch.....oooooo.

While i was at the Apple Store wandering, i passed by this guy and looked again and it was my friend Kyle Jones, we were party friends in Savannah, i used to get to SHITfacceeed around him. we hugged and chitchatted, it was really nice to see another Savannaian, he works at the apple store, and another girl who worked there, that i didnt know, lived in savannah, then Corey came up and we had this circle of Savannians. Then i was poked on the back and turned around to see my other friend Nick from savannah, it was CRAZY and really cool, we all blabbed and exchanged phone numbers... so hopefully i will have MORE friends...especially boy friends...

Wednesday Corey left and i worked, i came home and smoked and drank wine by myself...
got alittle tipsy.

By the way Ilenia and Jenna, i guess really Ilenia now, how sad!? Bob's big brother Jimmy (whats up with these names??) Bob and Jim...geez. anyways Jimmy moved back to lawrence from korea also and i always wondered what another Bob would look like.
I wonder if his brother looks like him, try to sneak a picture or something or give me the juice...spy..!! haha. just kiddin...

This movie is retarded.

Ok so yesteday was Thursday i went and saw my first apartment, i had an appointment at 2pm, i felt so adult, whatever that means, it was for a 3 bedroom in Brooklyn, i meet the guy at this weirdo ghetto looking house, the apt. was cool and roomy, i liked it, but the area Sucked, it wasnt even interesting. it was just Blah.
I didnt get that feeling im waiting for.
So the hunt goes on.
I cannot wait until Melissa and Tonia move here and we live together, its going to be interesting!

so i worked until 11:30pm and it was my friend from work Scarlett's b-day party, we were going Karoking (spelling?) again, it made me miss you guys sooo much.
so i rush to the place, which was in Korea Town, I didnt know there was a Korea Town here! how cool! I get there and i was greeted with the Korea hello, a rush of being back in Korea hit me, it made me miss Blake and my adventures... they even had Soju, this korean alcohol, the last time i had soju and the only time was the day i met Bob on the beach off these islands in Korea.

have u guys been watching Quarterlife??
i cant, we dont have that channel.

Anyways friends from work plus more were there, it was not as fun as our time at Encore
There was no Backstreet boys or my vagina singing or a weirdo like Erik there. but it was fun.
I work with this guy who is pretty cute, my type. he kept trying to make me dance and sing with him. but really i rather make out with him...oopsssssss!

Then my little adventure started, my friend John from work, he is so fucking cool, we get along so well, we get along like we've known eachother for so long, he makes me laugh SO much and i love it, we have similiar personalities, sarcasm, pervertness, and jokes...so he came with a hottie friend only for a bit, and

anyways, john leaves with his hottie friend (who was from Columbia, his name was Marco) and they were going to go get some Diamonds, i havent had diamonds for 2 months so i got excited and asked if i can tag along, and i did. we hopped into Marcos car and it was really fun riding in a car besides a taxi all the time, we jammed and drove to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. which is the best place to be. We go to some bar and get a shit ton, and do it there, do it everywhere. i dont even know, we went to so many bars and i remember talking to so many people and getting so many free drinks and going to the bathroom with john a lot. it was a good exciting night, a night i have been craving. the next thing i know is us driving and doing diamonds going to a gas station and getting more beer and john and i getting a taxi together back into Manhattan which was expensive, i spent SO much money. UGH! we blab the whole time, so john comes back to my apt. and we open my bottle of wine and keep drinking and listening to music and tlaking, finally i looked at the time and it was 7am and i had to wake up for work at 9:30am.

Dont worry John slept on the couch, i slept in my bed,
he's like a brother to me or bff.

so that was my thursday night.

Today i worked, very tired and i am excited to sleep tonight.

But tomarrow i am excited! Sarah and maybe others are going to Studio B in brooklyn to go see CUT COPY play, im so excited to dance to them, i really like taht band, jenna i wish you were going to be there, and of course you too ilenia, its just that jenna and i would listen to cut copy a lot..Damn gurl. hopefully it wont be sold out, just $12 to see them. i better get to. and next weekend Crystal Castles plays. another good band.

oh Tonia is coming on sunday!!! shes visiting sunday to thursday. so many people are visiting!
Then I think Manal will be here and another friend from SAvannah, Megan is going to be coming this Monday and blahs blah.

I just hope Bob comes in April, if he doesnt.....its over.

I JUST WANT TO DANCE.

Jenna I love you and im so Excited for you!

Chop Chop Choppity

I have just chopped my roommates hair off. she told me to do it. i think i chopped off about 8inches or more. we totally bonded. it was a complete spur of a moment dealio. 

"It was a itch that needed to be scratched", Hallie (my roomie) said.

It makes me want to chop my hair off. 

I dont even know what we were talking about, she just said do it and i did it. 

It was kinda of like that time, Jenna, when we were in high school and you wanted me to randomly chop your hair off, remember how u freaked out, then Jennifer did it, and then months later I did it too. We all had short hair. 

Then for years i have had a shaved head and/or short hair.  

Oh its JUST HAIR. it grows back. 

So I think i decided where i want to travel to this year...i got my sign today.

I have been thinking either Istanbul or Berlin. I dont know wh

y. Not such huge trips but good enough ones. 

So i was at my first day of work at my other job today and I randomly decided to look out the window and this huge local bus passed by right when i looked out and it

 said ISTANBUL really huge on the billboard on the bus.

Thats Where I Want to Go.....

Who wants to come??

Supposedly Istanbul has the biggest flea market in the world. thats what my friends who went there said.

Like I said, I got another job. Not that you care. but you should. I work at a Cosignment Shop. Its called Encore, its been around since 1954, and the owner passed away 2 years ago. she doesnt want the place to change at all so it looks all 70's/80's inside and is all old-school. like no cash register and shit like that. I get paid like $10.00 a hr which isnt that good for new york standards but i figured with two jobs it should help out alot.  But im a sales associate and work the floors.

All the clothes are only Designer and Couture. So everything is Prada, Armani, Gucci, Chanel, Marc Jacobs, etc. I have never touched so many designer clothes in my life.  Today I got to touch these $600.00 beautiful white/gold Chanel flats, they were pretty, Jennifer would have LOVED them. I also got to hold $5,000 pearl necklace, i thought it was pretty neato.  I really want to blab about my new job because its so interesting but Not. 

Im excited to get to work around designer clothes and learn about them, i really need to know more. Its so crazy because Im dumbfounded how the women who come in spend SO SO much money on some really ugly shit and buy it because it says Chanel on it. 

basicallly where i work is....

A Thrift Store For Rich People.

Some stuff in it is pretty hot. like some Marc jacobs dresses and shit, but its all like $100 and up. All the women who come in are like old rich Manhattan Snobs. Some of them have worked in the "industry" (they mean the fashion) they say it like its like the craziest and coolest thing ever. I talked to two old women who have worked in the industry.  One worked for Anne Klein, the fashion designer, and another worked for Kenneth Cole, and they told me how insane it was and how they felt like slaves and it wasn't as glamorous and everyone thinks...i know that. but im still fascinated. Maybe I can get a hookup from a old woman. 

Then my manager is this semi-attractive, looks younger than he prbly is and is really sarcastic.  he seems interesting...

This week has been real good. I think money will be getting better. I have so much to say. And i think i will be recieving my camera charger next week, then i can POST pictures, how exciting! for me.

Im goin to be working 7 days a week for now on..ah jeez. I worked today, took a taxi home because it was pouring rain, walked in where I found Hallie was home and smoked and ordered in Thai food.  I ate so much.  It was a nice night in. 

I got to see Allison Mitchell, that was refreshing my first Kansas Friend to visit me in New York and got to see my cute apartment.  she came over tuesday night and we went out for Thai food then got ice cream, and a bottle of wine.  It was quite fun to catch up. so much to talk about, shes one of my favorite people. So humble, goofy, an great. reminds me a lot of Sally....

Its nice to be with someone who i knew back in the day, highschool and college.  We used to play tennis together!! 

Oh and wednesday night Hallie and I had a little Project Runway Party, ok, not really it was just me and her, we smoked a lot and got these amazing burritos and a big bottle of wine.

guess who won!?

Christian, the hottie gay young one. it was such a good episode, lamo, but it inspired me and made me miss designing so much. I think I really want to design on the side, i really love making things, its so satisfying creating a garment. 

I hate arranging the pictures, fuck it. 

anywho i need to go to sleep real bad. night fuckers. loveuall. 

Wandering The Streets of my MiNd

Sally, you little slutface

I've been really nostalgic lately. My itunes is on shuffle and guess what song came on that i didnt know i had. Remember that song, Closing Time, by Semisonic. Yeh I know.

So i took my external hard drive from home when i was in Kansas and now I got to put all my old ass pictures on my laptop and all my music, which now consists of almost 5,000 songs, Damn, i didnt i had that many.

I've been thinking about summer so much lately, especially Summer's in Kansas, it always makes me antsy and really sad, because summer will never be the same, i mean i knew that everytime i came home for summer, but it was always grew to be more and more different, because more and more people werent there. Last summer was my first summer not in Kansas, I had to spend it in Savannah to finish up one more class, which i dont regret, it was a great summer full of drinking, pizza, and the beach. 

My summer's in Kansas were always so amazing. It was always spent with Jennifer, Blake, Tonia, Shannon, Luis, Tron, Zach, Andrew, Abby, Denise, Jana, Jess, etc ( All the old Treehouse/House of Pain) kids. Those were the days. Where all we would do is sit on the front porch drinking cold beers (mostly PBR and Red Stripes) lounging around and thinking up crazy party ideas, going skinny dipping at Lone Star Lake, laying in the hammock while Blake played guitar, water balloon fights, tripping on drugs, and many house parties.  The days when we all didnt take life to seriously, didnt really think about the future or careers, just working at stupid part time jobs and going to KU.  I miss it. 

The warm breezes, the smell, even the taste of summer sweat.

Ah, swimming!

But as we all grew older, we had to start taking things more seriously, start thinking about what we are going to do with our lives. 

I left to Savannah (but visited every summer for 3 years) Shannon left, Blake left, Jess left. All my friends were leaving or growing apart. 

Is that how life goes?

I really dont like feeling this way. I am trying to live in the present, here in New York. Its just so hard. Growing up and living new lives. I think life is more different than its ever been ever before.  This summer will be completely different.  More people wont be there.  Jenna will be in Chicago, Tonia is moving to New York (she's my NEW ROOMIE!) which is so exciting. Im blessed because I am going to be living with both....

my Kansas (Tonia) and my Savannah (Melissa)

that makes me happy.

I will definitely be back in Kansas though this summer, even if not everyone will be there, there are still some special people left there that i adore. 

Ilenia will you be there this summer??

I'm so confused about all these feelings im having inside....about Bob...and WHY did I meet him? was it fate that we both met on a random island in South Korea and then met again at the Replay in Kansas??? and we both connected that? 

I DON'T KNOW!?

If i never went to Korea to visit Blake I would have never met him, or would I??? because he moved back in October, and I was already living in Kansas? I probably would have seen him around a lot, like the Taproom and Replay, where he always hangs out, and then what? I would have been like, "ooo look at that hot guy" and made a fool of myself?

who knows...i cant think too hard about it. 

I dont like long distance, I dont think I am strong enough for it. I really want this to work more than anything.....oh gosh...FUCK. why do things have to be so fucking complicating?

Oh im missing Sex in the City, its on right now. shit, im going to check if its a good episode to watch....

it was a good one. Man, im a geek but i LOVE that show, the movie comes out May 30th! so excited. Shut up Ilenia.

anyways i just got a sweet text from Bob, thats somewhat reassuring, but not so helpful.

i think im at the point in my life where I dont really want to fuck around (even literally) with guys anymore. I would like to try another serious relationship. I think im ready. my head is somewhat there and my heart and mind feels alot more grounded than ever. All i really want to figure out is my career and stabilize that.

I know this is a really long blog, but ilenia your quiz (which i read the whole thing) was damn long. 

I went out once this weekend. i met up with a old friend from Savannah who was here this weekend, Trish. we went to her brother's bar called SIP, thats really close to my apt. and then this place where they had 50 cent BEERS!! 9-11pm. we have to go! it was fucking awesome, i drank so much beer i felt like 500lbs. we met up with more people and then went to Greenwich Village for $2.00 well drink specials 11-12am. we just hopped around everywhere. i got pretty drunky and i walked home in the nice little flurries. 

That was Friday night, Saturday I sat in my apt all day completely and utterely stoned to the max, i left once to get a sandwich from the cute foreign guys at the Corner store. 

This week I have 3 interviews, 2 for sales associate jobs, and 1 for a Summer Internship for a fashion showroom. then i work 3 times, and im supposed to go to this concert with Sarah, and then Allison Mitchell (yeh Sally and Jenna) is in the city, so hopefully i see her. ooo and i actually went running today, it was a bootyful day today! 

well i love you all and miss you bunches and crunches

Jenna i know you're stressed, just take it one day at a time, it will all work out, trust me and call me if you need to bitch and/or vent.

To Blog or Not to Blog

Ok Ilenia. Im finally updating.

So im watching Fashion Police right now on E! channel, there talking about who sucked and who didnt at the Academy Awards. how retarded. the people who get to say who is in and who is not, there're ugly and stupid and where retarded clothes. Man, I WANT to do that, I want to be a stylist. Sometimes I hate fashion because its so cliche and cheesy and people are so snobby about it.
To me, Fashion is art, its something either some people will care about and some people will not.
To each There Own.
I mean i admit i look at people a lot and im like, "ugh, what and why are they wearing that?" Fashion is a way to express yourself and I think its fucking awesome.
I dont know what im really talking about, its just all so FRUSTRATING!

I want to be a stylist, I want to be not really famous, but well-known. I just want to be in that fashion world. I dont know why im so into it. I dont necessarily want to be on the E! channel or walking down the red carpet at the Academy Awards, maybe just be known and respected by the stars and everyday people....and go to the after parties...haha..of course.

So Im back in New York now, its fucking cold here. just like Kansas. I went to work today back to my server job. I just feel retarded because im in one the best cities in the world and Im here struggling, so poor, cant really do anything fun, and im a server. I know I have to be patient, but fuck, im a Capricorn, im NOT patient.

I know soon my time will come, everything will come together and i will get my life into gear.
I dont know why i want to rush everything right now. I want this and that, why cant i have this, im envious, and sometimes jealous. I need to tell myself, "SHUT UP NEESA" and just

BE.

live in the present and enjoy everything and everyone around me.

I had an amazing time in Kansas, thank you everyone. Even if I only saw who i got to see for a minute, or a party time, or whatever, i have thought about you and you do make me happy.

Tyler, Dan, Erik, STEPHEN!!, all of sallys funny friends ( Jennifer and Maya) Barrett, Gabe, Carey, Edmond, Tonia, random other people in lawrence i like.

Thank you. I love partying in lawrence, but you see, I wouldnt want to live there, Lawrence is real fun when you have been "living and visiting" for almost 5 years now, like i have. I have my bestest friends there and i know where everything is.

You know I didnt go to any bars the whole time while i was there for 6 days....except the Bottleneck twice (doesnt count) I didnt get to say hi to The Replay or Jackpot, or Taproom...boo hoo.

The next time im going to be in lawrence will be REUNION time in May when Jenna comes from Chicago and I come from New York and well Ilenia, you'll be in Lawrence waiting!! I cant wait and it will be yummy and warm.

I really wanted to post pictures from my kansas time BUTT my dumb ass left my camera charger somewhere!

Ilenia, Jenna, Sally can you see if i left in at your house or dropped it in that spot where I kept all my shit? Its small and gray and fits a little battery! I need it, my camera is dead and I want to upload all my FUGLY pictures! If not then im fucked! Also Im going to have Jennifer get my red notebook I REALLY need that, it has alot of important info in it.

Ok Notes to Everyone:

Sally: Thank you for finding me that confirmation number, sorry if I freaked you out, my phone was going to be dead and i didnt want to be stuck at the airport, also thanks for the funny karoke night, smoking and talking with me (thats always amazing with you) Sal, im so glad you are in my life.

Ilenia: DAMN gurl, you're crazy....thanks for going shopping with me, i thought it was so funny that Bob was tagging a long. you are my best friend and pretty new in my life, but I feel like we have been friends forever and cheesy or not you're in Neesa's life for good so get ready babbyy.

Jenna: my love. what can i say. you inspire me, you and that crazy one ilenia Corrupt me, we're Tomato, Pizza, and Potato Forever. u know how i feel about you....lesbo action! grossss....

Stephen: u smell like cheese, thanks for making Pigs in a Blanket and watching me eat them while drunk. Thanks for making me tinkle with happiness.

Erik: Fuck off! not....i love you. u smell like dog poo poo and its quite attractive and yummy...GROSS....u have such a funny voice. why are you so damn funny..........looking? PS: thanks for letting me spray Pam in your face.

Gabe: i cant wait to party with you in Chicago.

Teeeyyler: POOP.

Man, I wish i could put my pictures on here.

I miss all of you soo much already. I really do, you guys are my home, I miss Bob so much too. We grew so close...in more than one way....hahah....

Au Revoir

LOve you all.

xoxo.

A Tribute to Fuglyness