To Blog or Not to Blog

Ok Ilenia. Im finally updating.

So im watching Fashion Police right now on E! channel, there talking about who sucked and who didnt at the Academy Awards. how retarded. the people who get to say who is in and who is not, there're ugly and stupid and where retarded clothes. Man, I WANT to do that, I want to be a stylist. Sometimes I hate fashion because its so cliche and cheesy and people are so snobby about it.
To me, Fashion is art, its something either some people will care about and some people will not.
To each There Own.
I mean i admit i look at people a lot and im like, "ugh, what and why are they wearing that?" Fashion is a way to express yourself and I think its fucking awesome.
I dont know what im really talking about, its just all so FRUSTRATING!

I want to be a stylist, I want to be not really famous, but well-known. I just want to be in that fashion world. I dont know why im so into it. I dont necessarily want to be on the E! channel or walking down the red carpet at the Academy Awards, maybe just be known and respected by the stars and everyday people....and go to the after parties...haha..of course.

So Im back in New York now, its fucking cold here. just like Kansas. I went to work today back to my server job. I just feel retarded because im in one the best cities in the world and Im here struggling, so poor, cant really do anything fun, and im a server. I know I have to be patient, but fuck, im a Capricorn, im NOT patient.

I know soon my time will come, everything will come together and i will get my life into gear.
I dont know why i want to rush everything right now. I want this and that, why cant i have this, im envious, and sometimes jealous. I need to tell myself, "SHUT UP NEESA" and just

BE.

live in the present and enjoy everything and everyone around me.

I had an amazing time in Kansas, thank you everyone. Even if I only saw who i got to see for a minute, or a party time, or whatever, i have thought about you and you do make me happy.

Tyler, Dan, Erik, STEPHEN!!, all of sallys funny friends ( Jennifer and Maya) Barrett, Gabe, Carey, Edmond, Tonia, random other people in lawrence i like.

Thank you. I love partying in lawrence, but you see, I wouldnt want to live there, Lawrence is real fun when you have been "living and visiting" for almost 5 years now, like i have. I have my bestest friends there and i know where everything is.

You know I didnt go to any bars the whole time while i was there for 6 days....except the Bottleneck twice (doesnt count) I didnt get to say hi to The Replay or Jackpot, or Taproom...boo hoo.

The next time im going to be in lawrence will be REUNION time in May when Jenna comes from Chicago and I come from New York and well Ilenia, you'll be in Lawrence waiting!! I cant wait and it will be yummy and warm.

I really wanted to post pictures from my kansas time BUTT my dumb ass left my camera charger somewhere!

Ilenia, Jenna, Sally can you see if i left in at your house or dropped it in that spot where I kept all my shit? Its small and gray and fits a little battery! I need it, my camera is dead and I want to upload all my FUGLY pictures! If not then im fucked! Also Im going to have Jennifer get my red notebook I REALLY need that, it has alot of important info in it.

Ok Notes to Everyone:

Sally: Thank you for finding me that confirmation number, sorry if I freaked you out, my phone was going to be dead and i didnt want to be stuck at the airport, also thanks for the funny karoke night, smoking and talking with me (thats always amazing with you) Sal, im so glad you are in my life.

Ilenia: DAMN gurl, you're crazy....thanks for going shopping with me, i thought it was so funny that Bob was tagging a long. you are my best friend and pretty new in my life, but I feel like we have been friends forever and cheesy or not you're in Neesa's life for good so get ready babbyy.

Jenna: my love. what can i say. you inspire me, you and that crazy one ilenia Corrupt me, we're Tomato, Pizza, and Potato Forever. u know how i feel about you....lesbo action! grossss....

Stephen: u smell like cheese, thanks for making Pigs in a Blanket and watching me eat them while drunk. Thanks for making me tinkle with happiness.

Erik: Fuck off! not....i love you. u smell like dog poo poo and its quite attractive and yummy...GROSS....u have such a funny voice. why are you so damn funny..........looking? PS: thanks for letting me spray Pam in your face.

Gabe: i cant wait to party with you in Chicago.

Teeeyyler: POOP.

Man, I wish i could put my pictures on here.

I miss all of you soo much already. I really do, you guys are my home, I miss Bob so much too. We grew so close...in more than one way....hahah....

Au Revoir

LOve you all.

xoxo.

A Tribute to Fuglyness

Pee S.

Sally Mally I love you.

Sally Bally will you poo?

I hope you like when I come and get glue.
because you the only one who i will do.

Finally Productiveeee

yo yo yo here we go.

I just got home, its approx: 1:09am. yum.

What i did today. I am somewhat proud. It feels like a first real new york day.

I went to work at 9:30am.
I worked with a weirdo. he's new too, like me, i mean to the job....he's weird because he looks like a weirdo version of johnny depp, but not a hottie, he talks like he's lived in Brooklyn or Queens, a real like "yeh yeh yeh" husky cocky voice. Hair sleek back into a ponytail, hes 22 and married and kept saying the whole day, "my woman" and calling me "sweety and honey" uumm...i dont think so...
I made ok money...but i really like everyone i work with so thats a plus and the food is good. today i got into a yell fight with the head chef, because i needed a BBQ Burger and he kept saying in his strong spanish accent " I ALREADY MADE IT AND SENT IT OUT" and i was like " NO YOU DIDN"T!!!" it kept going on exactly like that for a couple of minutes...guess what....?
I was right.
There were two seperate orders and he thought there was one....
gross a BBQ burger...right.?

After work, i went and picked up my laundry, yes, i delivered my laundry and had it washed and folded like a perfect Martha Stewart person would fold it. nice and crisp. It was only $10.00 which it would have cost more for me to buy detergent (because Everything is expensive here) Bleach, quarters, my time, etc. so yeh the laundry mat right next to my apt. does it for me!
Its called Soap Opera...haha....how original....

Then I went to the bank and deposited money...then i stopped buy my favorite little closet thrift store who ive made friends with the woman owner, she kicks ass and it literally is a closet. ive found some cool stuff there.

Ive purchased there (previously), not that you care.

1. A amazing and (works) typewriter
2. A yellow cute trendy beret looking hat
3. some kick ass white shoe boot things, (you would like them ilenia)
4. a bootyful vintage looking picture in a frame
5. a pink sweater
6. a purse

yeh so yeh.

Then i found out from her that there was a fax machine across the street, because ive been trying to look for one thats close and not all the way on 72nd street (a Kinkos. gross) And so i run home get a copy of my Resume and find that fax machine that was in a Cosmetics Store, $2.00 to fax ( i paid in dimes) I faxed my resume to this coolio Vintage Store thats hiring in Greenwich Village. I want it!

I come home and get ready to relax. for snacky and dinner I had an Avocado and half a can of Garbanzo Beans...i watch Tv and go online...then my old pal from Savannah Christine McGrath calls me and is like "lets ketchup, u wanna go out to dinner?" I ponder for a second thinking how relaxed i am, and say "yeh sure"

I shower and look all cute, (of course) and then find out she lives on the Upper East Side, FUCK. that means a shit ton of transfers and its going to take me atleast a hour to get there...oops.

Lots of trains rides later. i get there. she meets me. its so good to see her.

Christine McGrath: A very very cute D.C. girl who looks like your typical southern girl, she kinda of looks like Reese Witherspoon, so shes a cutie...she was in my Fashion Design class at SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) Dummies. and she got in the fashion show, had her dress shown at Saks Fifth Avenue Store in NYC and has had many internships...so basically shes doing A LOT better than me when it comes to Fashion...oops.

so we go to this diner and we really to ketchup. I mean geezz we both couldnt Shut Up. It was really nice. we talked and talked and blabbed about school, careers, interns, new york, our new lives, it was nice to have someone who is going thru the same thing as me and is from my favorite old place...Savannah... We're both "southern peaches."

We eat breakfast food.

then we cant stop talking so shes like "u wanna go to this pub i know about" and you all know what my answer was.....

The pub was called Murphy's Law...which is dumb because there is one in savannah called the same and of course our bartender was Irish...we drink beers and blab and blab. this time the topic was more about Guys and our Love lives or lack there of...

Shes in a long distance relationship but shes been with him for 3 years...wowzzer..i tell her about my weird relationship that i dont really understand with Mr. Bob.
she gets a little drunky off of two beers and starts telling me about her sex life, and she kept giggling how shes never told anyone before.
But you know me, well Ilenia and Jenna, and maybe others...

Im all about talking about Sex.

It was fun. real good time.
my stomach feels like a fattie about to explode with mayonnaise.

we finally leave the pub. Funny thing is while we are talking about guys guess who calls us.
First her boyfriend.
Then Mr. Bob.
how ironic.

(i guess not really)

I go on my transfer trip adventure on the subway again.

Im home. Thanks I-POD for being there for me. you're a pal.

Time to look at Porn....haha..just kidding....or Am I????

goodnite and I CANT WAIT TO SEE ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im so excited that ...FUCK....i just pooped in my pants.

thats for you Jenna.
I might Barf for you Ilenia..later.

loveloveloveyou.

PS: Ilenia we'll talk...about some deep shit soon enough...life and all that jazz....xo.

isnt Twiggy so yum?

How Retarded Am I?

So i left off writing how I was invited to go to this girls house to drink. It was quite random b/c i only worked with this girl twice and she just quit, so i was really surprised she wanted me to come over. but whatever. I took a cab there, i dont know why, well i do. she said she would pay for it as soon as i called her when i got there, she lives pretty close to me. 133rd st. i live on 116th st. but my phone isnt really working right now. i can recieve calls but i can call out, so i get there and was like fuck, i cant call her, so i paid for it myself.

Anyways so i get there and she lives in this small little apt. with her husband and daughter who is almost 4 years old, shes this SUPER cute little hispanic girl. I wanted to eat her.
the girl i work with, well i cant really pronounce her name or spell it, its like Ysaurio or something, but the Y is silent and sounds like a J. whatev. Then like 5 guys come into the little apt. it was like her brothers, brother, sisters cousin like that.....they bring Lots of alcohol. They were so hospitable and nice to me, i loved them. They handed me a Corona, drank that like water. Then made me this really yummy drink and Im so stupid that I never thought to drink it.
Vodka with cranberry and orange juice. how come ive Never made that, its delicious and turns a really pretty color. My new favorite drink.

blah blah blah. we watch Jackass 2, that movie is crazy and pretty funny. I play with her little girl. who i love. I want a little daughter, i love kids. I want one...not now though.

they order pizza, i eat. the men leave for a bit. then there was this girl there, she was Beautiful. long black hair, big brown eyes, pretty skin, anyways she was 18 but super cool and into my style, we blabbed and blabbed and became good friends and exchanged phone numbers.
and we kept drinking and drinking. i wanted to Dance.

the men come back with MORE pizza, oh gosh...pizza. i NEVER eat it here, which is crazy. I dont really eat that much here, im too poor, but dont worry im still a fattie.

I finally leave pretty early at like 10pm to meet my roomie at home, she wants to watch a movie, i love my roomie shes amazing and its unbelievable how great we get along. its crazy.

so my ex-co worker decides to have her husbands brother walk me to the subway station and i was like ok...and he told me he has a crush on me and he tries to kiss me and im like "whoa" maybe next time and walk the rest of the way by myself.

This is where i am retarded... if you're wondering...wheres the retarded part?

So im drunky and i get to the subway and sit next to these two guys and for a spilt milisecond i saw a baggie in his palm, i thought... oo drugs.. so i start talking to them and we blab and then the train comes we go into the same one and keep talking and i decide to invite these two random guys back to my house to smoke and drink. I dont know WHY. oops.

we had to walk for while and i found out one is 18 and one is 20, they were really funny. ones name was JT but i kept calling him JTT like Jonathan Taylor Thomas, he was this big fat hispanic, but i thought he looked asian or something else, and he friend was this skinny other guy who i kept forgetting his name. we got to my house and im like "hallie i have two guests!" the whole time she thought i knew them from work, oops.
We smoke this huge blunt and i serve wine and for some reason they had a bag of unpopped popcorn in there pocket, we eat popcorn. i was acting like a fool. they prbly thought I was the Crazy One. i play music and i dance. they watch me like im retarded. we blab and blab, hallie is confused.
I dont even know what was happening.
We finally kick them out by 12:30. i am feeling good.
we exchange numbers.
I pass out.

Oh my, oh me.

happy presidents day.
barf.

I want this outfit, actually i want the pants. who wants to buy it for me?

Money in my Pocket, but Broke as Shit.

I just got home from work...i smell like dirty feet with a mix of omelette's and pancakes...who wants to eat me..ooo that sounds dirty.
I made some money..not enough! i am really thinking about prostituting? would any of my friends protest against that? hmmmm.....

Ilenia...its currently 43 degrees here. it finally snowed last week. i mean its snowed here but barely and it was never cold enough for it to stick to the ground. but when it snowed last week it stuck we got like 2 or 3 inches. and it was quite beautiful. Snow in the city. I really like living here so much. i love the feeling of this huge city full of endless possibilities. I wish you and jenna would move here with me and we can all live in Brooklyn and be surrounded by hotties.
and Yes i have got a new coat..well its not new its old. u would Love it. Its this Huge (fake) fur coat i found at this vintage store for $35.0o. I had to buy it b/c it was so cheap. I want to bring it with me to Kansas but its pretty big and i dont know if Lawrence can handle it., haha.
And then i got this black coat with a fur hood, its like the standard new york coat, that everyone seems to wear. Its warm i like it. but yeh no new coat for me, which is fine.
I thought you were going to buy a coat in Columbia!?? remember from that one store..

Stephen... I miss you too. I think about how your face makes me laugh and how your voice makes me tinkle with joy. We have to go to Booger King next week just for old times sake, maybe minus or plus Bob again. And maybe ill whip up another huge booger to try to throw at you and Eric like i did in the Party Store.
Sexy Bruises...that can be arranged..

Jenna....you're hot. lets make out...oops just kiddin.

I hope i get this rad internship here. This is going to be a busy little week for me.
I have interviews, waxing, work, packing, etc.
Do u know I have to wake up like at 3 or 4 am on Thursday....
I cant believe Bob is picking me up from the airport...how cheesy.

Some girl from my work just called me she wants me to come over to her apt. she said they have ALOT to drink, whisky, champagne, wine....uh oh we all know what that means for me..
Drunky Time. whateva i didnt go out last night.
I wonder what we are celebrating.

see ya wouldnt wanna be ya.

I can't wait to see my bitches.

Wino

Im drinking Chardonnay by myself, I have to wake up early for work, barf.
I really love this photographer, William Eggslton (fuck i think i spelled that wrong)
yum, wine.

12 girls, a bitch, and a sex swing

So I would post pictures butt my dumb ass lost my camera battery, I don't know how, but atleast I have my camera. So soon I will have pictures up. I'll probably get bored of this soon. I dont know if I really believe in the whole blog thing, we'll see.

Yesterday I went to happy hour at this yummy place, that i want to take all of you to. Its not really that great, i just really liked the happy hour. Im IN LOVE with happy hours. $3.50 for all drinks. So my roomie Hallie and I get all dressed up and cute and go to Chef Yu's at 5pm. We start drinking. there was 12 girls all together, we had a huge party, we were loud, drunk, and hungry for alcohol.

This is what I drank:

3 Long Island Ice Teas

2 Tequila Sunrises

1 White Russian

i know it seems like a lot, but i dont think the drinks were That strong. One girl was trashed and passing out on the couch and I was mooching food off everyones plates.

So we were all drunk by 8pm, which is when happy hour ended. we all spilt and go to another bar where I get in a fight with a Bitch girl, who was part of the big group.

It was buy one get one free drinks at this bar. It was big with 2 big dance floors and a huge bench looking swing in the middle of the dance floor. Hence, I decided to call it the Sex Swing, it really wasn't but i made everyone believe it was.

Back to the bitch girl. I was watching the bartender pour my drink and she barely put any in both my Cranberry vodkas ( i dont even know why i was drinking still) and i said really nice (b/c you all know im not that big of a bitch) "i watched you pour the vodka, can you put some more" she said she just started bartending and sorry...See I knew it. well this bitch girl was like "why are u giving her such a hard time" and blah blah. and i was im not and tried explaining myself, she kept interupting me and then i got pissed, we started bitching at eachother and i was sure a cat fight or whatever you want to call it was about to start, but then Hallie came and broke it up. But man she got my water boiling, which rarely happens....

So i drink and blab and i found out this morning..well. i guess i made out with some random (hallie says he was hot) chocolate man. oops...on the sex swing and we then ran out. I never remember my subway rides home.

Then we go to the corner store where there was a kitty cat, and we buy junk food and Hallie said i wouldnt put the cat down and i asked the store guy if i could have it, he said i can have a kitten. then i started whining and Hallie had to force me out, where then my drunk ass decides to finish off all the liquor in the freezer, there was about a shot left in each bottle.

I finish off

vodka

whiskey

gin

I took one shot of each drink mixing it with real natural bitter cranberry juice.

I then sit in a chair and start crying about missing my cat Ares, back home.

I then ran into the bathroom and call Bob, then later on texting him how much I miss him and how I want to fuck him..oops. drunk dirty text messages.

then I talk to Blake, this guy named DQ, dont know why I called HIM, and blake again. Drunk dial Jenna, and i talked to jennifer dont remember what we talked about.

End of the night I am laying on the kitchen and Hallie is trying to get me up, I wouldn't.

I pass out in my bed.

Oh Valentines Day.