FUGLY PICTURES Part 2

yeh im not sure why i put some of the pictures up ..some of them arent fugly...like Rens, and im not saying shes a fugly person it was just a up close pictures...whatev..

and i do think that Jenna wins...for sure..

Im Coo Coo For Coca Puffs

ok bitches. i know you are back (Jenna and Sally) I want to hear about your trips!! call me when you can. both of you! i missed you. not that i get to see you anyways...

so I FINALLY got my camera charger so very soon i will be putting my pics of my kansas trip up...which also means...more FUGLY pictures!!! how exciting..

also i wanted to let you all know how happy i am and how i LOVE New York. and i love Spring.
and that

BOB is fo sure coming to visit me here in new york, he FInally bought his plane ticket. i am super happy. hes coming April 24th!!

also for all who know who Manal is, a Lawrencian... a crazy one at that...she staying with me starting tomarrow for 9 days...time to party..once again..

ok i got to go...a friend just buzzed in..xoxo

With Your Fingers in my Eyes

Long time no write...whoops.

I've never worked so much in my life...well maybe i have. its just so tiring working 7 days a week, but i guess not really. i go back and forth between 2 jobs. mon, tues, wed, and saturdays at the Consignment Shop 10-6:30 and thurs, fri, and sunday 10-4:30 at the restuarant. Im trying to rake in the money...TRYING...except those 2 weeks prior i have been spending money and drinking a lot.

After Cory left, Tonia came to visit to NYC.
This is Tonia for all who dont know

That is Tonia on the left...Tonia is an odd one.. I like her... She is very smart... she is going to be my new roomie in new york. (that is Shannon the right, she moved to Las Vegas, she is quite a character)

So tonia coming was awesome. its going to be fun living with her. She came on sunday night, she arrived pretty late and she also arrived to a party at my apartment and me fucked up...whoopsy..her dad dropped her off at my apt, and he was prbly like, "what the fuck? where am I dropping my daughter off?" and he was lost at that, so i had to talk to Tonia when i was drunky and high and give her directions and ontop of that i live in Harlem and it prbly looks pretty ghetto and scary to those who have no experienced a place like that....i dont really know what that means....but yeh... I worked that day (sunday) and after work I went to Brooklyn by myself to see my roomie Hallie sing with my friend Dana, I arrived to the bar and i had ONE beer, which led to me having 3 more drinks....WHOOPS...and then having a afterparty at my apt...

ST. Patricks Day.... I worked...BUTT then when i came home Tonia, Hallie, Hallie's mommy, and I made a huge dinner, smoked and drank, it was yummy. then hallie, tonia, and I went out to a bar on Times Square...it was crowded...we danced I got drunky...then we met up with more friends and went to nathans house and smoked..but before we had taken the subway which my dumbass decided to get into a argument with a homeless bum. i was drunk, he prbly was too, and he came on the subway shouting and being angry calling everyone all these racist things and fighting with this white dude who was trying to defend himself and doing a bad job at it...so i guess i couldnt stand it anymore and chimed in saying stuff like "you dont know what your talking about" and "how do you know what race he is anyways" blah blah, i dont really know...but this bum starting cursing at me and getting in my face calling me all these hurtful shitty racist crap and i took it but then i got in his face and i dont really remember what i said, but i guess i stumped him, he then was like "your kinda of cute and very fiesty, i like that in a woman" he kept saying that over and over...we left the subway and hallie told a cop about this man....i guess so he wouldnt follow us...we went to nathans and smoked...we all stayed up till about 5:30am....

happy st. patricks day....

what did YOU do? let me guess for some....this is what i would have done if i didnt work...

get up, watch the parade, start drinking in the day time and get drunk then pass out, wake up again and start drinking...DANCE.

Tuesday, Tonia and I recovered, my first day off and prbly only, b/c of a scheduling fuck up on both jobs....tonia and I met up with one of my many Savannah friends Megan...

This is Megan. she is real cool. she has been my friend for about 4 years now. we went to london together, she has seen me at my most wasted, she has saved me, she has helped me.
i love her.

We had lunch and Megan and I blabbed about Fashion and the new senior class, (we are both fashion majors)

Tonia and i recovered some more... and watched a really good movie with friend and hallies mommy and smoked...Everyone should watch this movie...its REALLY good and sad...and good.
Watch is Ilenia...
its called, "Trade"
its about sex trafficking with kids

Wednesday I dont remember...I worked....it rained...Tonia came to my Consignment Shop and looked at clothes. we then walked in the rain, ate Indian Food. came home and drank and smoked.

Thursday Tonia left. I ran errands. I went to work. work was slow, but i got a free amazing scarf from the lost and found, free bakery goods like strawberry shortcakes and easter cookies. I hung out with Hallie at the apt.

My life is actually pretty busy and productive. I am still interviewing with Internships, i dont know how i would fit it in with my busy schedule. i am thinking i have to make a decision where I have to either wait on the internship or drop a job. but i really like both of my jobs. I am learning so much at the clothing shop and i have such great friends at the restaurant. I dont know.

sometimes life is about making sacrifices...

I dont know what i am doing with mine.

Bob and I are doing quite well. I gave him a ultimatum.

Come to New York or I will never speak to you ever again...

he says he's coming.. blake and i have a bet...Blake bets me 10 dollars he will.. I dont think so...

i just want bob to come visit...goddammit.

Also there are two more friends from SAvannah in town now..
Dru and Ursula. it will never end.

I think i am going to go out tomarrow night. This guy i met at the airport in Jan. that i talked to for 40 min found me on facebook and we have been messaging, he lives in new york, not the city. he is my age, he is going to be in the city tonight and gave me his phone number to meet up with him...i did not call him..whoops

I also keep buying clothes from my store. see this is why i shouldnt work at a clothing store. I bought the best jeans ever all designer clothes!! i also bought my first real good designer piece of clothing...Georgio Armani...yum. dont worry i got it for real cheap! i get to see when everything goes on sale sale and snatch it before anyone else does... it was 13 dollars! orginally it was 85.00. fuck yeh for me...i know no one cares... oh well.

Spring IS HERE.

its time for Spring Flings....or maybe just Rain.

Im Done With Tomarrow

BARF

So I remember when I was in Lawrence, Jenna and Ilenia we went to the Black Lips Show at the Bottleneck, well Bob was prbly the most wasted Ive ever seen him, maybe not though, maybe i just have always been as wasted as him and never notice, but this time he was and i wasnt....yet...well Bob grabs me and takes me to Aliecia to take a picture, Aliecia who does Lawrence.com party pics...Bob was so cute and super nice to me...it was a really good nite for us...i really felt loved and wanted....BARF..i know.... but yeh i thought i would share this picture, Aliecia sent this to me b/c i asked her to. I think it really cute..

I had a interesting week.. i forgot where i left off but I smoked alot last week and got a manicure, which i love doing. when it starts getting warm im then going to get a pedicure.

Ok so last Saturday night was my night...not exactly a good one like ya'll had.

I got off work, which i am starting to like, the girls are cool and im already learning a lot...about Designers and I bought a super cute dress. Im kinda of feeling materialistic, its weird, being here in NYC. Like I want a bunch of designer dresses that we sell, im starting to appreciate more expensive clothes, like Armani cashmere, and Silk Pucci, etc.

Well after work, my friend Sarah comes over and we hadnt seen eachother since right before I came to Kansas, so we drank a bottle of wine that I got for free from work. (because if you sell 10 or more alcoholic drinks, you get a free bottle) so we caught up and chatted and headed into East Village to see her friends band play at this bar. The east Village is so hot and hip. Its a cool, sophisticated hip, i dont know, its like Brooklyn but in Manhattan.
I love it, you have to have the money to live there. so we actually miss the show but stayed there drinking A LOT. I dont know what happened but i ended geting shitfacccceed and i didnt remember until the next day that sarah and i ran to another bar that night and saw a Burlesque Show that i got kicked out of first because I tried sneaking in, whoops. but i begged and begged the bouncer to let me in becasue Sarah was already in there, he eventually lets me in. All I remember was being shitfaced and watchin these curvacious almost naked women dancing. I also remember thinking "I can do that" well sarah and i leave pretty early and take a cab home, which i have been taking more often than i should.

Then I really dont know what happens next, my roomie Hallie has to tell me exactly.
She said that I texted Bob, "ITs Done" then she came home to me sobbing, i dont know why, she said i really wanted to talk to Blake...ugh..i dont know why..she said i then call Bob and hang up b/c it sounded like he was at a party, he calls me back, hallies talks to him for a bit, and finally me being shitfaccccceed Neesa, tells him its over and to never call me again...OOPS....

Im so dramatic. what the fuck?? I need to be away from my phone when im drunky.

Man, I loved GameBoys...(remember?)

Well i passed out at like 4:30am and had to wake up for work at 8:30..SHIT. i was so drunk at work, it was funny and sad at the same time, i thought for sure i fucked everything up with Bob...i was way to embarrassed to call him. I think I was pissed b/c i wasnt there and it just SUCKS the whole situation, why is the first time i find someone in a long time, this long distance shit has to happen. ... i guess ill just have to see what happens...right?

Well the next day, bob actually calls me, i was so meek and weird on the phone, we talked about it and things are better, he said he knew i was drunk and it was ok...WOW, i cant believe he puts up with me.

have u ever seen that movie, "The Good Son" ? Its on TV, it has a teeny weeny little kid Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin, how cute.

Jenna used to be obsessed with Elijah Wood when we were little...HAha. he was her dream man.


Gross, what the fuck is he doing?

So ive had a busy week. My friend from Savannah Corey Crocker came into new york, we know eachother b/c he used to date my old roomie Jamie when i first moved to Savannah, hes a weirdo. he came here to research for the screenplay he's writing...i hadnt seen him in 1 yr or more...so he came Sunday night and took me out to dinner... then monday my roomie Hallie left for the week to Florida, so i had Corey to entertain me. When i came home from work we went to the East side to visit our friend Christine, who was working, he knows her b/c his twin brother has been dating her for 3 years...wowzeer!

I cant imagine myself dating someone for that long?? Isnt that pathetic?

Im hungry again, i want to go stuff my face.

We meet Christine and she is working and tells us to go to this bar and shell meet us, Corey and I go and drink. I only had 3 beers, that were SO good, they were from Kenya Africa, it was called Tusker..or something...and i was already getting drunky b/c i didnt really eat at all that day. We blab about shit and christine comes, i had fun.

Tuesday, i worked and came home so tired, Corey was leaving early wednesday morning, and he wanted to use up his subway pass so i roll a joint and it sucked and Corey watched me smoke the whole thing, DAMN i was high. then i remember i was getting really annoyed at every little thing Corey was doing, I think I start to get all antsy and weird when im with someone that much...i dont know. we ate at some diner and then went to the Apple Store, b/c Corey really wanted to , i was high and wandering looking at all the expensive cool shit i will never be able to have, but i dont really give a shit but i actaully really really want to have a I-Phone, i think there Awesome. i want!

Man, i think new york is making me materialistic, what if I become a Manhanttan Bitch.
A Rich Bitch.....oooooo.

While i was at the Apple Store wandering, i passed by this guy and looked again and it was my friend Kyle Jones, we were party friends in Savannah, i used to get to SHITfacceeed around him. we hugged and chitchatted, it was really nice to see another Savannaian, he works at the apple store, and another girl who worked there, that i didnt know, lived in savannah, then Corey came up and we had this circle of Savannians. Then i was poked on the back and turned around to see my other friend Nick from savannah, it was CRAZY and really cool, we all blabbed and exchanged phone numbers... so hopefully i will have MORE friends...especially boy friends...

Wednesday Corey left and i worked, i came home and smoked and drank wine by myself...
got alittle tipsy.

By the way Ilenia and Jenna, i guess really Ilenia now, how sad!? Bob's big brother Jimmy (whats up with these names??) Bob and Jim...geez. anyways Jimmy moved back to lawrence from korea also and i always wondered what another Bob would look like.
I wonder if his brother looks like him, try to sneak a picture or something or give me the juice...spy..!! haha. just kiddin...

This movie is retarded.

Ok so yesteday was Thursday i went and saw my first apartment, i had an appointment at 2pm, i felt so adult, whatever that means, it was for a 3 bedroom in Brooklyn, i meet the guy at this weirdo ghetto looking house, the apt. was cool and roomy, i liked it, but the area Sucked, it wasnt even interesting. it was just Blah.
I didnt get that feeling im waiting for.
So the hunt goes on.
I cannot wait until Melissa and Tonia move here and we live together, its going to be interesting!

so i worked until 11:30pm and it was my friend from work Scarlett's b-day party, we were going Karoking (spelling?) again, it made me miss you guys sooo much.
so i rush to the place, which was in Korea Town, I didnt know there was a Korea Town here! how cool! I get there and i was greeted with the Korea hello, a rush of being back in Korea hit me, it made me miss Blake and my adventures... they even had Soju, this korean alcohol, the last time i had soju and the only time was the day i met Bob on the beach off these islands in Korea.

have u guys been watching Quarterlife??
i cant, we dont have that channel.

Anyways friends from work plus more were there, it was not as fun as our time at Encore
There was no Backstreet boys or my vagina singing or a weirdo like Erik there. but it was fun.
I work with this guy who is pretty cute, my type. he kept trying to make me dance and sing with him. but really i rather make out with him...oopsssssss!

Then my little adventure started, my friend John from work, he is so fucking cool, we get along so well, we get along like we've known eachother for so long, he makes me laugh SO much and i love it, we have similiar personalities, sarcasm, pervertness, and jokes...so he came with a hottie friend only for a bit, and

anyways, john leaves with his hottie friend (who was from Columbia, his name was Marco) and they were going to go get some Diamonds, i havent had diamonds for 2 months so i got excited and asked if i can tag along, and i did. we hopped into Marcos car and it was really fun riding in a car besides a taxi all the time, we jammed and drove to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. which is the best place to be. We go to some bar and get a shit ton, and do it there, do it everywhere. i dont even know, we went to so many bars and i remember talking to so many people and getting so many free drinks and going to the bathroom with john a lot. it was a good exciting night, a night i have been craving. the next thing i know is us driving and doing diamonds going to a gas station and getting more beer and john and i getting a taxi together back into Manhattan which was expensive, i spent SO much money. UGH! we blab the whole time, so john comes back to my apt. and we open my bottle of wine and keep drinking and listening to music and tlaking, finally i looked at the time and it was 7am and i had to wake up for work at 9:30am.

Dont worry John slept on the couch, i slept in my bed,
he's like a brother to me or bff.

so that was my thursday night.

Today i worked, very tired and i am excited to sleep tonight.

But tomarrow i am excited! Sarah and maybe others are going to Studio B in brooklyn to go see CUT COPY play, im so excited to dance to them, i really like taht band, jenna i wish you were going to be there, and of course you too ilenia, its just that jenna and i would listen to cut copy a lot..Damn gurl. hopefully it wont be sold out, just $12 to see them. i better get to. and next weekend Crystal Castles plays. another good band.

oh Tonia is coming on sunday!!! shes visiting sunday to thursday. so many people are visiting!
Then I think Manal will be here and another friend from SAvannah, Megan is going to be coming this Monday and blahs blah.

I just hope Bob comes in April, if he doesnt.....its over.

I JUST WANT TO DANCE.

Jenna I love you and im so Excited for you!

Chop Chop Choppity

I have just chopped my roommates hair off. she told me to do it. i think i chopped off about 8inches or more. we totally bonded. it was a complete spur of a moment dealio. 

"It was a itch that needed to be scratched", Hallie (my roomie) said.

It makes me want to chop my hair off. 

I dont even know what we were talking about, she just said do it and i did it. 

It was kinda of like that time, Jenna, when we were in high school and you wanted me to randomly chop your hair off, remember how u freaked out, then Jennifer did it, and then months later I did it too. We all had short hair. 

Then for years i have had a shaved head and/or short hair.  

Oh its JUST HAIR. it grows back. 

So I think i decided where i want to travel to this year...i got my sign today.

I have been thinking either Istanbul or Berlin. I dont know wh

y. Not such huge trips but good enough ones. 

So i was at my first day of work at my other job today and I randomly decided to look out the window and this huge local bus passed by right when i looked out and it

 said ISTANBUL really huge on the billboard on the bus.

Thats Where I Want to Go.....

Who wants to come??

Supposedly Istanbul has the biggest flea market in the world. thats what my friends who went there said.

Like I said, I got another job. Not that you care. but you should. I work at a Cosignment Shop. Its called Encore, its been around since 1954, and the owner passed away 2 years ago. she doesnt want the place to change at all so it looks all 70's/80's inside and is all old-school. like no cash register and shit like that. I get paid like $10.00 a hr which isnt that good for new york standards but i figured with two jobs it should help out alot.  But im a sales associate and work the floors.

All the clothes are only Designer and Couture. So everything is Prada, Armani, Gucci, Chanel, Marc Jacobs, etc. I have never touched so many designer clothes in my life.  Today I got to touch these $600.00 beautiful white/gold Chanel flats, they were pretty, Jennifer would have LOVED them. I also got to hold $5,000 pearl necklace, i thought it was pretty neato.  I really want to blab about my new job because its so interesting but Not. 

Im excited to get to work around designer clothes and learn about them, i really need to know more. Its so crazy because Im dumbfounded how the women who come in spend SO SO much money on some really ugly shit and buy it because it says Chanel on it. 

basicallly where i work is....

A Thrift Store For Rich People.

Some stuff in it is pretty hot. like some Marc jacobs dresses and shit, but its all like $100 and up. All the women who come in are like old rich Manhattan Snobs. Some of them have worked in the "industry" (they mean the fashion) they say it like its like the craziest and coolest thing ever. I talked to two old women who have worked in the industry.  One worked for Anne Klein, the fashion designer, and another worked for Kenneth Cole, and they told me how insane it was and how they felt like slaves and it wasn't as glamorous and everyone thinks...i know that. but im still fascinated. Maybe I can get a hookup from a old woman. 

Then my manager is this semi-attractive, looks younger than he prbly is and is really sarcastic.  he seems interesting...

This week has been real good. I think money will be getting better. I have so much to say. And i think i will be recieving my camera charger next week, then i can POST pictures, how exciting! for me.

Im goin to be working 7 days a week for now on..ah jeez. I worked today, took a taxi home because it was pouring rain, walked in where I found Hallie was home and smoked and ordered in Thai food.  I ate so much.  It was a nice night in. 

I got to see Allison Mitchell, that was refreshing my first Kansas Friend to visit me in New York and got to see my cute apartment.  she came over tuesday night and we went out for Thai food then got ice cream, and a bottle of wine.  It was quite fun to catch up. so much to talk about, shes one of my favorite people. So humble, goofy, an great. reminds me a lot of Sally....

Its nice to be with someone who i knew back in the day, highschool and college.  We used to play tennis together!! 

Oh and wednesday night Hallie and I had a little Project Runway Party, ok, not really it was just me and her, we smoked a lot and got these amazing burritos and a big bottle of wine.

guess who won!?

Christian, the hottie gay young one. it was such a good episode, lamo, but it inspired me and made me miss designing so much. I think I really want to design on the side, i really love making things, its so satisfying creating a garment. 

I hate arranging the pictures, fuck it. 

anywho i need to go to sleep real bad. night fuckers. loveuall. 

Wandering The Streets of my MiNd

Sally, you little slutface

I've been really nostalgic lately. My itunes is on shuffle and guess what song came on that i didnt know i had. Remember that song, Closing Time, by Semisonic. Yeh I know.

So i took my external hard drive from home when i was in Kansas and now I got to put all my old ass pictures on my laptop and all my music, which now consists of almost 5,000 songs, Damn, i didnt i had that many.

I've been thinking about summer so much lately, especially Summer's in Kansas, it always makes me antsy and really sad, because summer will never be the same, i mean i knew that everytime i came home for summer, but it was always grew to be more and more different, because more and more people werent there. Last summer was my first summer not in Kansas, I had to spend it in Savannah to finish up one more class, which i dont regret, it was a great summer full of drinking, pizza, and the beach. 

My summer's in Kansas were always so amazing. It was always spent with Jennifer, Blake, Tonia, Shannon, Luis, Tron, Zach, Andrew, Abby, Denise, Jana, Jess, etc ( All the old Treehouse/House of Pain) kids. Those were the days. Where all we would do is sit on the front porch drinking cold beers (mostly PBR and Red Stripes) lounging around and thinking up crazy party ideas, going skinny dipping at Lone Star Lake, laying in the hammock while Blake played guitar, water balloon fights, tripping on drugs, and many house parties.  The days when we all didnt take life to seriously, didnt really think about the future or careers, just working at stupid part time jobs and going to KU.  I miss it. 

The warm breezes, the smell, even the taste of summer sweat.

Ah, swimming!

But as we all grew older, we had to start taking things more seriously, start thinking about what we are going to do with our lives. 

I left to Savannah (but visited every summer for 3 years) Shannon left, Blake left, Jess left. All my friends were leaving or growing apart. 

Is that how life goes?

I really dont like feeling this way. I am trying to live in the present, here in New York. Its just so hard. Growing up and living new lives. I think life is more different than its ever been ever before.  This summer will be completely different.  More people wont be there.  Jenna will be in Chicago, Tonia is moving to New York (she's my NEW ROOMIE!) which is so exciting. Im blessed because I am going to be living with both....

my Kansas (Tonia) and my Savannah (Melissa)

that makes me happy.

I will definitely be back in Kansas though this summer, even if not everyone will be there, there are still some special people left there that i adore. 

Ilenia will you be there this summer??

I'm so confused about all these feelings im having inside....about Bob...and WHY did I meet him? was it fate that we both met on a random island in South Korea and then met again at the Replay in Kansas??? and we both connected that? 

I DON'T KNOW!?

If i never went to Korea to visit Blake I would have never met him, or would I??? because he moved back in October, and I was already living in Kansas? I probably would have seen him around a lot, like the Taproom and Replay, where he always hangs out, and then what? I would have been like, "ooo look at that hot guy" and made a fool of myself?

who knows...i cant think too hard about it. 

I dont like long distance, I dont think I am strong enough for it. I really want this to work more than anything.....oh gosh...FUCK. why do things have to be so fucking complicating?

Oh im missing Sex in the City, its on right now. shit, im going to check if its a good episode to watch....

it was a good one. Man, im a geek but i LOVE that show, the movie comes out May 30th! so excited. Shut up Ilenia.

anyways i just got a sweet text from Bob, thats somewhat reassuring, but not so helpful.

i think im at the point in my life where I dont really want to fuck around (even literally) with guys anymore. I would like to try another serious relationship. I think im ready. my head is somewhat there and my heart and mind feels alot more grounded than ever. All i really want to figure out is my career and stabilize that.

I know this is a really long blog, but ilenia your quiz (which i read the whole thing) was damn long. 

I went out once this weekend. i met up with a old friend from Savannah who was here this weekend, Trish. we went to her brother's bar called SIP, thats really close to my apt. and then this place where they had 50 cent BEERS!! 9-11pm. we have to go! it was fucking awesome, i drank so much beer i felt like 500lbs. we met up with more people and then went to Greenwich Village for $2.00 well drink specials 11-12am. we just hopped around everywhere. i got pretty drunky and i walked home in the nice little flurries. 

That was Friday night, Saturday I sat in my apt all day completely and utterely stoned to the max, i left once to get a sandwich from the cute foreign guys at the Corner store. 

This week I have 3 interviews, 2 for sales associate jobs, and 1 for a Summer Internship for a fashion showroom. then i work 3 times, and im supposed to go to this concert with Sarah, and then Allison Mitchell (yeh Sally and Jenna) is in the city, so hopefully i see her. ooo and i actually went running today, it was a bootyful day today! 

well i love you all and miss you bunches and crunches

Jenna i know you're stressed, just take it one day at a time, it will all work out, trust me and call me if you need to bitch and/or vent.